The things that add up and make people into crazies
Me, sweating buckets down my back, on my cell phone with my landlord: "Well, I was just calling... I was just wondering if I could get the air conditioning unit put back in."
Him, far away in a cool place: "Oh, yeah, I guess it's getting pretty warm now." He sounded smooth and undisturbed by weather, and objectively unconcerned as if he were discussing a leak in an empty ship in Antarctica.
Me, rubbing my sweaty belly through my tank top: "Well, yeah, it is. It's 89 degrees in here right now." While saying this, I realize that it doesn't sound nearly as hot as it feels since the place is almost all windows, making it like a piercingly warm greenhouse. Many of the windows don't open, however, leaving me with stuffiness not to be borne. And furthermore, even if all the windows DID open, it's 92 degrees outside. I'm not going to get far by encouraging hot air to enter the space in question.
Him, breezily involved: "Well... I just, I don't usually put them in this early in the year."
Me: left wordless for a pause. "Well, it is pretty hot." I was completely unprepared for a denial, having called expecting him to stumble with apologies for making me live in swelter for absolutely no reason.
Him: "yeah, well, it will cool down again."
Me (in my head): So what, now you're a weather man? Just give me my ^#$@$#$^ air conditioning! And an apology! And some free rent to make up for it! Obviously if it cools down again, I'll turn the thing off. It's not like you have to pay it to be in my window.
Me, really: "Oh."
Him: "Well, I'll try to get them cleaned off and bring them by there, maybe next week sometime."
Me, completely defeated, with tiny beads of sweat forming on the end of my nose: "Ok, that'd be great. Thanks."
After some pontification by him on global warming, we hung up.
I ponder demanding some kind of renter's rights, since I did JUST finish freezing my behind off all winter since the heat controls are in the downstairs apartment. I also ponder all the powerful, witty, slightly stinging ninja things I could say to prove that I was right and he was wrong.
But instead I went to work. The end.
Him, far away in a cool place: "Oh, yeah, I guess it's getting pretty warm now." He sounded smooth and undisturbed by weather, and objectively unconcerned as if he were discussing a leak in an empty ship in Antarctica.
Me, rubbing my sweaty belly through my tank top: "Well, yeah, it is. It's 89 degrees in here right now." While saying this, I realize that it doesn't sound nearly as hot as it feels since the place is almost all windows, making it like a piercingly warm greenhouse. Many of the windows don't open, however, leaving me with stuffiness not to be borne. And furthermore, even if all the windows DID open, it's 92 degrees outside. I'm not going to get far by encouraging hot air to enter the space in question.
Him, breezily involved: "Well... I just, I don't usually put them in this early in the year."
Me: left wordless for a pause. "Well, it is pretty hot." I was completely unprepared for a denial, having called expecting him to stumble with apologies for making me live in swelter for absolutely no reason.
Him: "yeah, well, it will cool down again."
Me (in my head): So what, now you're a weather man? Just give me my ^#$@$#$^ air conditioning! And an apology! And some free rent to make up for it! Obviously if it cools down again, I'll turn the thing off. It's not like you have to pay it to be in my window.
Me, really: "Oh."
Him: "Well, I'll try to get them cleaned off and bring them by there, maybe next week sometime."
Me, completely defeated, with tiny beads of sweat forming on the end of my nose: "Ok, that'd be great. Thanks."
After some pontification by him on global warming, we hung up.
I ponder demanding some kind of renter's rights, since I did JUST finish freezing my behind off all winter since the heat controls are in the downstairs apartment. I also ponder all the powerful, witty, slightly stinging ninja things I could say to prove that I was right and he was wrong.
But instead I went to work. The end.
posted by sarah at 12:29 AM
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