how bridezillas are made
This post, I regret to state, will be more of a journal entry than a blog post. Because I need to bitch about this, and I don't want to start doing it verbally to the people around me.
I feel that planning my upcoming wedding is placing unwelcome pressures on me. This week I have focused mainly on choosing bridesmaids' dresses and printing off the wedding invitations. Neither of these endeavors has been successful, and it's not that they're so difficult in and of themselves. I just have an overarching resentment of the process, and how expected it is - as a "bride-to-be" - that I am willing to spend unlimited hours of my time picking out crap and ironing out wrinkles that I don't care about.
Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled that we're getting married. What I resent is the fact that the desire to have a wedding automatically dictates thousands of inane choices and tasks that have absolutely nothing to do with the personal or moral significance of marriage. The little jobs take so freaking long, and society demands that they be so perfect, that the show is stolen during this part of my life that I can never have back. I'll never be engaged again, and I don't want to spend the next five months of it worrying over department store ordering options and whether my cardstock will jam the printer at Kinko's. I don't want to waste one more hour of my life doing the expected, largely pointless things I am supposed to be doing. It's sucking the fun out of this, and I want it to stop.
I also feel guilty. People are sending me gifts and spending their money on us out of their own love and kindness, and I feel too trapped in a bubble of bridal bullsh** to show proper appreciation or enjoy any of it as much as my normal self would.
On the one hand, it's not as bad as it sounds and I just needed to vent. On the other hand, I think I may need to lower my standards for this wedding so that I can just get it all planned and forget about it and enjoy this part of my life with the people who want to enjoy it with me.
Thanks for listening, internet.
I feel that planning my upcoming wedding is placing unwelcome pressures on me. This week I have focused mainly on choosing bridesmaids' dresses and printing off the wedding invitations. Neither of these endeavors has been successful, and it's not that they're so difficult in and of themselves. I just have an overarching resentment of the process, and how expected it is - as a "bride-to-be" - that I am willing to spend unlimited hours of my time picking out crap and ironing out wrinkles that I don't care about.
Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled that we're getting married. What I resent is the fact that the desire to have a wedding automatically dictates thousands of inane choices and tasks that have absolutely nothing to do with the personal or moral significance of marriage. The little jobs take so freaking long, and society demands that they be so perfect, that the show is stolen during this part of my life that I can never have back. I'll never be engaged again, and I don't want to spend the next five months of it worrying over department store ordering options and whether my cardstock will jam the printer at Kinko's. I don't want to waste one more hour of my life doing the expected, largely pointless things I am supposed to be doing. It's sucking the fun out of this, and I want it to stop.
I also feel guilty. People are sending me gifts and spending their money on us out of their own love and kindness, and I feel too trapped in a bubble of bridal bullsh** to show proper appreciation or enjoy any of it as much as my normal self would.
On the one hand, it's not as bad as it sounds and I just needed to vent. On the other hand, I think I may need to lower my standards for this wedding so that I can just get it all planned and forget about it and enjoy this part of my life with the people who want to enjoy it with me.
Thanks for listening, internet.
posted by sarah at 5:29 PM
2 Comments:
i found your blog from your facebook. i like this post very much. pressures on brides are strange....at the same time un-fulfilling and fulfilling. just so you know, the work you put into your wedding (from the littlest details to the overall theme) is appreciated and well-worth-it after the whole thing is over with :)
loved the invitations, by the way. very, very, very cute!
Thanks Erin!! I've felt better since I wrote this post, and I finally feel like I've got the bulk of the work done, so it's starting to be fun. Your wedding was so beautiful and unique at the same time - I hope mine comes off as well!
And thanks! I love our little invitations too! I'll be sad when I don't get to play with them anymore :)
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