Three steps to picking a new church
1.) Avoid criticizing in your mind everything that the new church does and comparing it to what you would prefer. This is nearly impossible.
2.) Listen for cheesy catchphrases/ corny preacher jokes / anagrams or acronyms in the outline. These things will annoy you without end and eventually drive you away in sadness.
3.) Fill out the first-time-visitor card and see what they send you in the mail. Flier assuring you that you've found The Real God's People = don't go back, ever, and change your phone number. Personal card written by nice church lady = promising. Mug filled with candy/coupons/card = you've found your new home.
The End.
2.) Listen for cheesy catchphrases/ corny preacher jokes / anagrams or acronyms in the outline. These things will annoy you without end and eventually drive you away in sadness.
3.) Fill out the first-time-visitor card and see what they send you in the mail. Flier assuring you that you've found The Real God's People = don't go back, ever, and change your phone number. Personal card written by nice church lady = promising. Mug filled with candy/coupons/card = you've found your new home.
The End.
posted by sarah at 12:22 PM
3 Comments:
excellent. as we are just beginning our church hunt, i'll keep these tips in mind. i can't go to a baptist church for a long time. not because, as some would say, they are inherently evil, but because i went to one for too long--i'm too critical. we got a flier in the mail for a newlyweds sunday school class. i'm sure its a fine class & i know people who have enjoyed such classes. i couldn't get past one line in the brochure though--apparantly the teachers guaranteed taking their class would ensure a "till death do us part" marriage. baptists. sheesh. :)
Would that be a money-back guarantee? Tithe-back, I mean?
dunno. should be though.
Post a Comment
<< Home